Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Verständnis Ist Nicht Möglich

(Understanding Is Not Possible)


It was just last night that I entertained friends on a balcony in some vast, faceless city. An icy full moon hung low in the west, slowly sinking down. All I wanted was for my friends to gaze upon it. I cried, shouted, pleaded for them to look. A few acknowledged, but I could not be sure that they understood. In a moment I turned my head eastward and there was the orange-pink sun, softly burning on the horizon. It was not too bright to look at directly and moved slowly up the sky as if pulled by an invisible string. The sky did not brighten; it remained a pleasing dark blue. I saw fire and ice together. I was overwhelmed by the fleetingness of this moment and in that instant my only desire was to share it with all of humanity.


When one waters weeds with runoff from one's gutters
One will wheeze with weary will when watering the others.


Tell me the difference
Between a dream and a memory
So that I can think it's true.

Scale the heights
Of these walls in my mind
Then retrieve what only I'd know.

Crawl into my skin
From the outside in
And describe to me
Each bead of sweat
Salty tear
Guttural flutter


Are you really here with me?


The difference between a dream and a memory
Is that one is what you want, and one is what you need.

Deep inside the recess of your mind
You're a napping lion at the zoo.

Joy and pain feel quite the same
If you push either away.


It was just last night that I watched a meteor shower with my girlfriends. We drove south for half an hour and still could not escape the polluting light of the city. We spread our blankets over the rocks and let them dig into our backs. We let the spiders crawl over our arms and faces. We waited for hours and only saw a few. I rolled over on my side and draped my arm across my friend and said, "This is all I want from you."