9

new consciousness is a BEEP BEEP
traffic jam
red lights and red lines
flickering and laser beaming
anywhere but up
town is in flames
toy engines too loud to buy
so play in-store/on-shelf/in-plastic
push five buttons all at once
'til she boils
no ICEE for you just
hole-drilled paddle stings
bees in your Big Red
SURPRISE!
why didn't you look, you dumb fuck?
I'm sorry you're hurting
I just don't feel it.
back on asphalt
with quivering guts
de/acceleration nauseation
the ding ding trigger
signals more turning
and churning
merry-go-round my ass
I don't wanna go home
but I don't wanna be here.

Strait-Swift-McGraw

Ain't it funny

How a little bit of livin'

Can change the meanin' of a song,

Or shine a little right

On what you thought was wrong?

Ain't it somethin'--

When you're off the beaten path

And you feel you don't belong

Strangers can become your friends

And move you right along!

Take a little moment

To look inside your big ol' heart.

Guaranteed, it won't be long

Until you sing the worldddddddd

(dramatic pause)

A brand new livin' song.

Mmmilk

breathing on the other end
the gun's by the bed
bullets have potential
unknown, unseen, unwanted
unique like me
Ding a Ling
I'm asleep
but answer anyway
thrashing in the sheets
draining away the next day
half in half out
of a nightmare
the one where you don't care
about me after all
then when sunlight cuts me
I realize, now I'm dreaming
basil, rosemary
you smell like excitement
my heart sinks and jumps and flutters and stops and starts and squeezes and punches and strangles
palms to trapezius
fingers in ribs
dripping with exotic flavors
like cats love milk
because they're not allowed to have it

Invitation to Follow

Arched back in the front with a porcelain white dazzle
Crisp cotton waving like surrender
Five rows removed
Mocha lace and satin brew
An invitation to paint the town a risky shade of red
Any time, any place, for chrissakes,
But not now and not here
Is reality, __ fear(s)

Goodbye Again, Sun

Sometimes I feel out of touch with nature.


Suburban Sunset
I'm boxed in.
Three walls (so cliche) block the sun
Tumbleweed flyers beg us not to litter
Drivers-by with handheld devices
Distract themselves from the marshmallow clouds.
One-legged birds refuse to fly and get fatter
And fatter and fatter.
X-ray Granny turns trash into treasure
And Poi Boy hula hoops the Zen Buddhist way.
I drag my hand through the sand for a feeling;
It's all stale and rust and rubble from the past,
Once new and exciting to someone
Who no longer is here and no one remembers.
Cue the crickets and the Vitamin C lights
That stain the trees and filter my dreams 'til morning.

More Return of Saturn

Shedding
So many friendships I have left to die
Like injured birds never again to fly
With tattered wings and hardened, hollow eyes.
Too little too late, I now realize.
Lying in bed I see death's frightful face
And its image can never be erased.
For it's the only sure event to come
And I fear to return to where I'm from:
To silence, to void, and to nothingness;
A reminder I have one chance at this.
So I have shed the things that weigh on me,
Surrounded myself with things of beauty,
I've tightened my fists and straightened my spine
And created a world I can call mine.

Happiness Is?

Happy People
Mama's buying baby clothes for nobody again.
Hasn't been the same since all her babies left the den.
Set the table, say a prayer, and let the dreams begin.
She's all a buzz 'cause all it does is let the sadness in.

Oh, we're happy people,
Mmm, until the wind blows.

Father's Day, let's celebrate, we'll gather at the farm.
Watermelon sweet and red is rolling down your arm.
Fifty years he fought to keep the family free from harm.
He's looking blue but you refuse to let him lose his charm.

Oh, we're happy people,
Mmm, until the wind blows.

Baby bird is taking off, she's learning how to fly.
She lands upon a concrete jungle singing by and by.
Pretending friends and slanted grins have left her high and dry.
Dry your eyes now, baby bird, don't let them see you cry.

Oh, we're happy people,
Mmm, until the wind blows.

Good Girl

Seventeen drops of sweat set above her lip
As she steps up to the diving board.
She senses a saber tooth stare from the bushes.
She's a woman now whether she wants it or not.
She carefully covers her sun-pinked skin
And coats her face to camouflage the freckles.
She reaches for the rouge without knowing why.
She's going through the motions
Like a good girl should.

Tart Pop Tart

Funeral
Let's talk about your funeral again.
You say no one will give a shit
But won't it be fun to make some plans?
Then write your own obituary--
Death will never be this scary.
Woe, woe, woe, woe.

I'm becoming introverted again.
Withdrawing is so easy
With the movies playing inside my head.
Always the protaginista,
Ready for my close-up, Mistah.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

They're talkin' 'bout my problems again.
I've never known so many who
Could live a life without any sin.
A know-it-all, a pessimist--
The surface is not all of this.
No, no, no, no thank you.

Thank you for enlightening me.

27 Years

Weather Advisory

 Weekend Rains
The weekend rains are falling.
There's no good place to be.
The wind is ripping through
The roaring oak trees.
All morning I've been staring
Out of dirty windows
At red birds and fox squirrels--
They know exactly where the river goes;
At struggling flowers
In their tiny containers,
Protected from elements
But dreaming of danger;
At my face in the mud,
Dripping with Sunday.
I'm longing for sun
And pleading for Monday.

Two More

Just Say It!
I hear you
Stutter, mutter, stammer
As a crooked hammer
Clamors for the nail's head,
You never reach the point.
The words emerge disjointed,
Pointed east and west.
Tell me,
What are your coordinates?

Important Decisions
Rosy cheeks,
You promised forever;
You said you'd go on,
Painless as a heart transplant
That refused to take hold.

I have decided to be a teenager tomorrow.

Elastic mind,
You said it better;
You said it so wrong.
The conveyer belt slipped off
And tumbled out the back door.

I have decided to eat pie and ice cream for dinner.

garbledeegook

As you probably noticed, I have not kept up with the Poem a Day Challenge for April, as I fully anticipated. Even so, I feel like it was a success because it got me thinking creatively and writing more than usual.


This is my brain on life.

Red Line
My imagination is overflowing.
Or maybe imagination is the wrong word.
My frontal lobe is exploding.
I'm sure that is a better way to put it.

Airstream dreams, real estate schemes, poetic themes,
scholars and locals, hard lessons, low blows,
practices and rehearsals,
whoopie pies and thunder thighs,
kitty sand and coffee hands,
over-ambitions and a thousand decisions
that can change a life forever.

No wonder I keep walking
into a room, only to forget
what I walked in to do.

Happy Birthday To Me!

Every year I cry on my birthday. Sometimes it's out of the blue, sometimes it's after a few drinks, sometimes there seems to be no real reason for it, but it always feels a little sad. Sure enough, I had my annual cry today totally unexpectedly but, for a change, it felt propelled by joy. 2011 is the best.

Birthday Cry

One hot tear followed by another.

One more year, gone away so fast.

This year feels much different from the others;

I cried big tears of happiness this time.

Just for a little perspective, here's my 2010 birthday poem:

Happy Birthday

The older you get

The less people care

About all your troubles

And your welfare

You move right along

And then one day

No one can be found

To listen to you say

Your mom's not well

Your daddy's gone to hell

Your sister's joined the circus

And the cat's down the well

You pick up the phone

It musta gone dead

'Cause nobody's calling

They've all turned to lead

Happy Anniversary

Happy Birthday

Have a Merry Christmas

But you know we can't stay

Turn on the tube

For some imagination

They took away the frequency

Don't bother to change the station

Flip on the tunes

This one you remember

The words jump out

Of your mouth like embers

You feel the same

As you did back then

But your glasses are thicker

And your hair is thin

Look in the mirror

Look into yourself

I'll be damned

To put my soul on the shelf

Remember how you felt

Remember that was you

That made the moment sweet

That took in the view

The world's gone to hell

Without any trouble

The flames are encroaching

And licking the rubble

So climb on the rooftops

And shout it aloud

Say it with conviction

Til you part the clouds

Happy Anniversary

Happy fucking birthday

Have a Merry Christmas

And don't forget to pray

Cute, huh? :)

April Poem #5

Today's Poem A Day Challenge is to write a "What if?" poem. I wrote this one in iambic tetrameter. It's amazing how much easier it's getting to follow poetic forms just by doing a little every day.

If
If someone else had helped you out
of Market Street that summer day,
If I had not against my will
Gone out to your apartment on
Barnett and written on your arm
An invitation, "Call me, please!"
If you had never prank called me,
And had not waited patiently
For me to tie up my loose ends,
If we had played it safe and slow,
If we had acted logically,
Then to this day I wouldn't know
That cereal is good with orange
Juice late at night and words like fluff,
Elude and poonagie would have
No meaning in them whatsoever.